Welcome to the Aspiring Gentleman. Over the next months (and possibly years) I plan to lead my readers on a journey of self discovery. A journey I started three years ago from a place of hopelessness and fear. My life was a slow motion train wreck that still is a twisted mess. But the sparks and screeches have subsided, the rescue crews have finished their search for survivors and the engineers are untangling the wreckage.
When the dust settled, I set my sights on becoming the man I wanted to be. The man that was deep inside of me, nurtured and inspired by childhood myths and stories, heroes, leaders, role models, teachers, friends and parents. Somewhere along the way I got lost and fell far short of my ideal. The reality of the chasm between who I saw in the mirror and the hero within, brought me to my knees. Through a lot of hard work and help, I realized I had the power to change. But I also knew I needed to have a vision for who I wanted to be. I searched for role models and created a simple Mission Statement for my life: I am a Gentleman.
Since then I have tried to live my life as a gentleman and a large part of my journey has been to define, for myself, what that really means. Different people may have myriad definitions, but for the most part the idea of a gentleman has overridingly positive connotations. For me the affirmation “I am a Gentleman” neatly sums up a nearly three year search for living a more productive, loving, successful, happy and serene life. Now, I certainly am not the expert of what defines a gentleman nor am I so presumptuous to claim that I am a gentleman. What I can say is that the process of defining for myself the way I choose to think and behave and evaluating my progress on a daily basis has drastically improved my life and the lives of those around me.
My story has played out in many men’s lives in many different ways and for the most part we men don’t typically share our inner most thoughts and feelings. There are so many challenges facing us in today’s world and we don’t always know how to cope in a healthy way. My goal is to create a forum to explore what it means be a gentleman in the 21st century and to seek to provide for men a means to live our lives closer to our self-defined ideals.
