Latest Edition of Aspiring Gentleman

The latest edition of the Aspiring Gentleman newsletter.

 

http://paper.li/jeffreyrcameron/1324083581

 

 

My New Publication

I came a across this curation site that allows users to create their own newspapers based on their twitter accounts, others' twitter accounts and rss feeds. It's called paper.li. I just created a newspaper in about 3 minutes. Here it is. I thinks it's fairly reflective of my tastes and interests. I'll keep working to refine it.

 

http://paper.li/jeffreyrcameron/1324083581#!travel

 

 

Make A Comeback

Although I don't consider Tiger a role model, this article presents some food for thought on redemption.

http://askmen.com/sports/health_500/555_make-a-comeback.html#.

Venture Forth Young Man

Rule 2: Let Chaos be your Wingman

Here's some more sound advice from Men's Health on meeting new people from the same article: http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/best-places-meet-women . We need to get out of our same old routine and move outside of our geographic comfort zone. Research shows that we tend to stay close to home and frequent the same places.

The article cites a Northeastern University study that tracked the movements of 100,000 cell phone users that found people were extremely predictable, keeping to an area only 6 miles wide and spending a majority of their time in five or fewer places. How the heck are you going to meet new people if you stay to that routine?

You need to vary the places you go and when you go there. Once again, EventLoud (www. eventloud.com) can help you discover new places to go, join Loops and meet people that frequent those places. And more importantly, EventLoud Loops provides a forum and context to build rapport with people with whom you share common interests. EventLoud Loops is coming soon. Check this out to learn more about Loops: http://blog.eventloud.com/2011/11/29/meet-new-people-using-eventloud-loops/

Facebook Anti-social?

Here's a copy of my EventLoud blog post: http://blog.eventloud.com/2011/12/06/facebook-anti-social/

 

There have been a number of amusing advertising campaigns recently that highlight the paradox of online social networks.

 

 

 

 

These campaigns remind us that being social is all about getting out and experiencing life in the world, not sitting alone in front of a keyboard. No doubt Facebook has changed the way we interact with each other in a powerful way, but we all smile at these ads because there is an element of truth in the underlying message. I know there are times when I need to decompress and hang out alone. It’s part of my nature. I call it isolating and I don’t consider it a bad thing. The funny thing is that when I’m isolating my Facebook usage increases dramatically!

 

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy Facebook and I have been able to connect with people I hadn’t seen in 30 years.  But I also know that when I’m living life in the real world, my Facebook posts are a lot more interesting, I’m more engaged and certainly a lot more social.

 

Last week I posted a blog entitled “Meet People, Not Women” (http://aspiring-gentleman.blogspot.com/) that discussed ways to build your romantic network by finding group events and activities. The premise is that the more you expand your social network to include more casual relationships the better chance you have of meeting a potential partner. It’s important to get out and live life and meet new people, engage in real-life activities and try new things. You are more interesting when you do things than when you “socialize” in the virtual world in front of your computer.

 

The introduction of EventLoud Loops will enable you to begin the process of expanding your social network by facilitating the creation of more non-core relationships centered on activities that you like to do. You can get to know fellow Loop members through online chats, discover and organize group events and take your social life into the real world.

 

Try using EventLoud now. Post a few Events and invite your friends to join. When we introduce Loops in the coming weeks, you and your friends will be members of the Loops for those venues that you’ve visited in the past. You can be among the first users to be “in da Loop”!

 

Meet People, Not Women

I'm working on a start up (www.eventloud.com) that facilitates meeting new people based on common interests. As I was was doing some research I came across this article in Men's Health that gives some great advice to meeting women entitled "Yes She's Out There. And she wants to meet you. Trouble is you don't know where to look."

http://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/best-places-meet-women

Rule number 1: Build Your Romantic Network

The key take away is to meet people, not woman. By expanding your social network beyond your core group of friends you have a much greater likelihood of meeting a mate. Chances are someone that is more a casual friend will be able to introduce you to more people that you don't know. You probably know all your core group's friends already. So the question is "How do you expand your casual relationships?" For me, I started doing things that interested me, assuming I was going to meet people I would enjoy.

Just the other day, I was recently reminded of a phase in my life I would rather forget. About 5 years ago I was fearing the prospect of living alone for the first time in my life. My marriage was dissolving and I realized that most of my friends were people I met as a result of my wife's outgoing personality. I honestly felt that I was incapable of forming new friendships and I certainly wasn't going to be able to meet any woman. I had no interest in finding anyone at bars and clubs. I don't drink and I was in my late forties. So I decided to pursue some new activities to stay busy and perhaps meet a few people. I started going to yoga, art and ballroom dancing classes. I met new people and discovered new passions. I have a ton of new relationships and a much wider variety of friends than I ever have had in my life.

My advice if you're looking for companionship is to search for activities and events that you can attend on your own that don't require you to go into mingle mode, such as classes and seminars. I hate mixers and networking events, always have and probably always will. With a class or a seminar you have a purpose for being there. You're there to learn something and get some information. You have context. Usually others are in the same boat and generally the instructor or teacher makes you feel welcome. It seems to me a more natural way of meeting people, especially if you are genuinely interested in the activity, Your enthusiasm and desire to learn will make you much more attractive and far less needy than trying to walk up to a group a women in a bar and try out your pick up lines and strategies.